[Twnsqr] Olfus Elevation

[Jake Creamer]

Unto those able to read this missive I send greetings,
Greetings, yea, and a fine surge of pride and fierce joy at the
raising of my comrade Olfus to the peerage. Know all, that I hold him
in continued esteem, and have been honored to count him always among
my friends. He will doubtlessly receive much advice in the ways of
knightly comportment, of the duties of his station, and of how to best
serve the dream which lies somewhere in the heart of all who find joy
in the SCA. Of these things, my words would be no boon, for I myself
have no experience. I can but either humbly parrot the words of my
betters, or offer a few small thoughts on a different topic. Never
having been accused of excessive humility, I shall embark upon the
latter.

Hygiene.
Some gentles might argue that a stout heart and an upright soul are
enough for a man of action to make his way in the world. Others might
argue that an unshakeable faith in the creator of the universe will
comfortable prop both mortal clay and spirit. These things are
powerful, but I ask you, what stinky man was ever loved? Do not all
groan when oppressed by a stinky? Does not the very will to live pale
somewhat when under olfactory assault by a well meaning, but
unwittingly stench ridden individual? The saintliest prophet will go
unheard, if he is a stinky. The doughtiest warrior will be unloved at
the shield wall, if he is a stinky. The purest clarion voice in any
choir shall be singing alone, should that voice be carried on carrion
wind. So I posit that hygiene is above all these in importance.
Tangenitally, hygiene carries with it a connotation of physical presentability.
It is, perhaps, unreasonable to expect one to be well dressed and
fresh after a night of carousing around a bardic fire, (keg) or deep
in knightly council (keg + fifth) or attending upon their Majesties
(two kegs, multiple fifths, kebabs and some fried chicken). However, a
shabby presentation wins no favors, even Sir Guy knows this. In fact,
an unkempt appearance isn't even period! That's right! What? You
question me? Well then, I defy you to present one piece of period art
that shows an unkempt peer. Other than death, which comes to us all,
no artwork survives that shows peers in anything other than their
finest and best clothes (ease up you humorless laurels, this is a
joke), ergo, all peers must have been finely dressed and properly
hygienic. Even Castiglione agrees with me, and he was a cranky  (but
sweet smelling) fussbudget! So you see, both logic and evidence, with
a healthy dose of good sense, should sway you to embrace a life of
hygiene.

These words I give you with my most heartfelt congratulations, this
fifth day of April, in the year of our Lord some 2008 years from his
birth. From Baghdad,

the Honorable Gerard LaGreine, Gallant.